October 2010
1 post
September 2010
1 post
August 2010
1 post
20% of Americans believe in the Geocentric Theory →
Actually, the article states that approximately 80% of Americans believe the Earth revolves around the sun - which means that 20% believe the opposite. Interestingly enough, 20% of Americans also incorrectly believe that Barack Obama is a Muslim. Coincidence?
July 2010
1 post
Mike Huckabee Coming To My Church! →
Yep, Mike Huckabee will the guest speaker at Sunday’s worship service for First Baptist Church of Charlotte. Woohoo! Maybe I can shake the hand that rocks a mean Bass Guitar.
June 2010
2 posts
“D.K. Shifflet & Associates ranked Asheville as a Top 10 Value Destination...”
– Making the A list | Asheville News | Mountain Xpress
ok Asheville, we get rated well in lots of lists. But seriously, saying that we’re more romantic than Nashville, Myrtle Beach and Las Vegas is not saying much at all.
(via staceycoleman)
They say what happens in the Biltmore House stays in the...
May 2010
4 posts
Don’t blame Arizona’s farmers. Once all the illegal immigrants were gone, there was nobody left to water their crops.
staceycoleman:
Does everyone else already know that this tainted romaine lettuce giving people e-coli is from Arizona? Cause you should. Another reason to say that Arizona is full of shit?
Daria DVD Finally Arrives →
May 11, 2010 - MTV’s too-smart animated series will finally be released in DVD format. Nice to know MTV still wants to make money. I thought perhaps they’d decided to become a non-profit organization, which seemed the only reason they had not put out the Daria DVD yet
Moog is Hiring Full Time →
This sounds interesting. Unfortunately, I am very bad at sales. These are my usual sales pitches:
“Wanna buy, wanna buy, wanna buy?”
“If you buy this, you’ll lose 30 pounds. Not that you need it or anything.”
“Please buy this high-quality item which I have not sold a single one of yet.”
“Buy or Die” (for those unfamiliar, the slogan is a...
Kentucky Derby Handicap
It’s Kentucky Derby time! Which means it’s time to handicap each horse’s name. Horses are listed by post position but if this becomes the actual order of finish, call me Nostradamus. Call me Super Nostradamus.
1. Lookin At Lucky - Odds-on favorite has a pretty solid name. Here’s looking at you, lucky. 2. Ice Box - This name reminds me of the female football player in...
April 2010
4 posts
Goodbye Arizona →
Looks like I won’t be visiting Arizona anytime soon. Their new immigration bill makes it lawful for a cop to pull me over and ask for my legal immigration papers. Because you know, people have those documents lying handy like their registration and insurance.
Props to Mike Huckabee for being one of the few Republicans to publicly denounce the law. You may not agree with all of his...
Kentucky Derby Favorite Scratched →
Eskendereya, who would have been the favorite for the Derby is out. Well, at least they’re protecting the health of the horse. That’s a noble intention. Another good side effect is that I would have had trouble pronouncing Eskendereya.
An Apple A Day Keeps the Competition Away... →
Apple in 2000’s = Microsoft in the 90’s? Possibly. Ask yourself this: are 30% or more of the electronic items you own made by Apple? Is your home covered in the scent of Red Delicious Macintosh?
If you answered yes to those questions, then you are probably waiting for Apple’s release of the iTV, iPolygon Game System, iPaper electronic reader and other hypothetical, future...
Obama Plays Golf Way More than Bush →
So Obama plays a lot of golf. A lot more than George W. Bush ever did. What’s the big deal? It just proves Obama is as white as 50% of the Tea Party Protesters. There is common ground in politics after all!
March 2010
6 posts
Factory Tour
staceycoleman:
Just met some of the guys from They Might Be Giants. They’re playing a show tonight at the Orange Peel and stopped by Moog for a tour. They are super nice and cool. Not a big shock.
I’m so jealous! You should request them to play the James K. Polk song.
Stupid People In Charlotte Really Pissing Me Off
As a follow-up to yesterday’s dumb quote from a Charlotte Observer reader, here’s another gem I found today in the newspaper:
“Ronald Reagon brought down the Soviet Union. Put him on the $10. What did Alexander Hamilton ever do? Leave Ulysses S. Grant on the $50. He won the Civil War, thus saving the union. Grant was the Eisenhower of his day. He was a national hero of...
“Making algebra a requirement for high school graduation is absurd. It is an...”
– Charlotte Observer reader expressing his opinion of high school graduation requirements.
Okay, I agree that algebra is not necessary for life but how is it elitist? If algebra is elitist, then what does that make geometry, trigonometry, and calculus?
Regardless of whether algebra is necessary for...
February 2010
1 post
Fantasy Olympics →
A tradition unlike any other - including the Masters - the Fantasy Olympics is back. What began as another excuse to slack off in College is now in its 3rd edition.
Woohoo!
Everyone root for Germany, Austria, and Italy… now that’s it’s post 1945.
January 2010
6 posts
R.I.P. J.D. →
J.D. Salinger was a weird individual. But he also wrote one of the greatest novels, and one of my all-time favorites, of the 20th Century. Maybe now there won’t be any legal objections to making a “Catcher In the Rye” movie adaptation.
Tiger Woods's Wife at Brett Favre's House →
Apparently, Tiger’s wife is going back on her divorce plans and is visiting Tiger at his sex rehab clinic in Mississippi (Motto: 51st in Education, 1st in Sex Education). In this awesome attempt at saving her marriage, Elin is crashing at Brett Favre’s house.
Yes, that Brett Favre. You know, the one from “There’s Something About Mary”. The gunslinger who waffles...
Women's Group Protests Tim Tebow's Super Bowl... →
Yes, Tim Tebow and his mom will tell millions of viewers about how mom declined doctor’s advice to abort Tim Tebow (to the chagrin of non-Florida SEC fans everywhere). So the National Organization for Women and the Feminist Majority Foundation wants the anti-abortion ad to be pulled.
Just one question: Is there any chance that the National Organization for Women and Feminist Majority...
December 2009
3 posts
Half-century of burning →
Centralia, Pennsylvania: the inspiration for Silent Hill. Anyone up for taking a vacation there?
Installing solar panels is kicking my ass.
plainclothesman:
Today I worked my second day as an installer from 7-6. I helped find and fix leaks on an array of about 40 thermal panels before finally recharging the system. It’s a tough learning process trying to find out what fluid is in which line or panel and where it’s coming or going and what I need to do in order to route them to the right places.
One thing’s for sure: I’m glad to...
October 2009
2 posts
August 2009
5 posts
Why I Hate Zooey
staceycoleman:
anjalouise:
“Yes, I know, I post about Zooey Deschanel a lot. She’s just so cute; I can imagine sitting around with her over a cup of tea and a cupcake, talking about boys, books and clothes.”
This is from some blog. It drives me crazy that people are always imagining Zooey in their little fantasy picture of what she is like and what she does and somehow, she’s always their...
What is Wrong With People????
At the McDonald’s Drive-thru to buy the new Angus Third Pounder:
Me: I would like a Deluxe Angus Third Pounder.
McDonald’s Employee: We have three kinds of Angus Third Pounders.
Me: I know. I want the Deluxe.
Employee: We have three kinds. Which one do you want?
Me: Isn’t Deluxe one of them?
Employee: We have three kinds.
Me: I know that. I want the Deluxe kind. ...
Ryan O'Neal Hits on His Own Daughter →
During Farrah Fawcett’s funeral, her longtime lover Ryan O’Neal hits on his own daughter. Well, apparently O’Neal is estranged from all his kids so he didn’t recognize Tatum O’Neal when she gave him a hug to console him. And he proceeded to ask her out. Gross.
But it begs the question: why was he hitting on anyboy at the funeral of the “love of his...
Beerfest at the White House
Just in case anyone cared, here’s what President Obama, Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr., Police Sergeant James Crowley, and Vice President Joe Biden drank during their “teachable moment.”
Obama: Bud Light - simple, but effective.
Gates: Red Stripe - I have never drank this. No opinion.
Crowley: Blue Moon - He garnished the beer with an orange slice, which apparently,...
July 2009
10 posts
Barack Obama, Ted Kennedy, and Healthcare: Three's... →
Advice to President Obama: If you want your healthcare bill to pass, then having Senator Ted Kennedy publicly supporting the bill as his “life’s cause” is not the route to take.
This is the same Senator Kennedy who once upon a time:
Drunk-drived off the road and into a lake at Chappaquidick,
Escaped from the car while leaving his passenger, Mary Jo Kopechne behind;
Passed...
plainclothesman:
Fuck I got laid off. That makes two of us now.
That’s Awful! Are you going to try and find another firm in Asheville?
YES! →
I have never been so happy about a celebrity split. Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson have officially broken up. As a Cowboys fan, this is good news. First they got rid of Terrell Owens; now the Former Mrs. Nick Lachey is gone. Tony Romo is free of distractions and can concentrate on getting Dallas back to the Super Bowl (just not against the Carolina Panthers). ...
Public Education
staceycoleman:
While I’m re-writing mottos, I just saw a specialty license plate that said “public education, a good investment”. How about “public education, it’s free”
“Public Education - All the cool kids are doing it”
“We’ve captured your imagination, don’t make us come after the rest of you.”
– The catch phrase from the Cherokee ads for the festival of Native Peoples.
Alternatives I came up with:
“You gave us alcoholism, let us give you a weekend to remember”
“You took our land, let us take your imagination on an adventure”
“we don’t have smallpox anymore”
Feel free to add your own.
...
I should be an importer so I can drink all day at...
staceycoleman:
plainclothesman:
Some wine importers just moved in down the hall. Since 9am, they have been speaking French and drinking ridiculously good wines in front of me. I’m dying, here.
hey, just because you can’t do it doesn’t mean I can’t. Do they need any help?
As an Auditor for U.S. Customs, it is my duty to “sample” the wine to determine the amount of duty that needs...
Up is Top Audience-rated Animated Film of All Time →
Compiling the ratings from Yahoo User Reviews, the 25 top-rated animated films were ranked. This list was crummy.
Ratatouille was ranked too low (#12), Bolt was ranked waaaaay too high (#3); and Monsters, Inc. was ranked waaaaay too low (#20). Also, I loved Kung Fu Panda, but its #4 ranking was too high, and while Up is a great film, it’s not better than Wall-E (#2) or Ratatouille.
But...
DREAMWORKS=FAIL
plainclothesman:
The latest ICE AGE ad shows the “world’s first dropped call” and the “world’s first BODY WAX.” Do you honestly think kids are going to relate to cell phones and BODY WAX??!
Go back to imitating Pixar, posers.
At least Dreamworks got Shrek right (the first Shrek) and Kung Fu Panda and… well at least they got Shrek right.
June 2009
15 posts
Megan Fox?????
staceycoleman:
Last night I went on a rant about why I hate Megan Fox. She’s not real, she just says bullshit that she knows stupid men (her main demographic) will be all excited about and gets her lips injected and breast implants. She makes men think shit like “I’ll never date anyone unless they’re as awesome as Megan Fox”.
I cannot stand her. So I just googled “why Megan Fox ruins life for...
Untimely Death for an Angel
Mark Sanford was the biggest story for only 1 day. But Farah Fawcett was the biggest story for all of 4 hours. Michael Jackson will probably be the biggest story for the next week or so.
So while I should feel bad for both Fawcett and Jackson, I feel worse for Fawcett.